Mental health

  • Starting a New Life

    Moving to a faraway place

    Since moving last October, 250 miles away from my previous home county for the last 35 years, to Cornwall in the farthest South-West of England, and moving in to my new home on my birthday, it’s been an interesting six months of mixed emotions. I’m sure most people have been experiencing mixed emotions during the pandemic, and the following are a few of my thoughts and experiences, with my spiritual practice as my main support. #MixedEmotions

    Lockdown #1 had ended whilst I was still living in Surrey. Restaurants had re-opened in the Summer, 2020, and I was seeing my friends openly again, so on the day I left with my son, who lives at home with me, we thought everything would stay open in Cornwall and I could start establishing a new life for myself.

    We were up and away nice and early to meet my daughter Frances, who’s lived in Cornwall for the last six years having returned from a decade living in Sydney. We met up for my Birthday Breakfast at a lovely pub, and we had versions of a cooked Full English Breakfast. Frances handed me a gift and instructed me to “open this one first”. It contained a pretty “It’s My Birthday!” sash which I was had to: “Wear it all day!” So I dutifully obeyed and twelve hours’ later it had ripped and had been taped back together with not-so-attractive brown packing tape! #Happy and #Exhausted!

    Emotions and Expectations

    Plans to build a new life for myself by joining social groups, and yoga and meditation classes in my new hometown so I could start meeting like-minded people, and start spiritual groups myself, were all quickly put on hold in November 2020 when England was plunged into a Lockdown Tier system, and then into full Lockdown #2 immediately after Christmas. I was so annoyed at that point! I was just about to meet and have lunch with a group of women in my Soroptimist International Club when it was cancelled – I am not a fan of Lockdown as it has been so detrimental to so many friends’ physical and mental health. I was #Angry!

    My hopes and plans of spending frequent quality time with Frances were dashed, and she discovered she was pregnant with her first baby only ten days after I moved, and so she was confined to quarters (spending a lot of time feeling nauseous!) and instead of shopping trips, business breakfasts and lunches and long walks together, we have been communicating in much the same way as if I was still living 250 miles away back in Surrey! But, I have to admit, with a few more meetings than when she lived in Australia for ten years! I was #Frustrated!

    However, I started attending the nearest Unitarian Church to me, (in Plymouth which is 65 miles away), for their Sunday morning Zoom services and other evening meetings such as their lovely, contemplative Heart & Soul services and their more poetic and lively Congregational gatherings. I’ve really enjoyed these as I love poetry. But I knew at some point I would have to move on from my previous Unitarian church in Surrey, who were also Zooming their Sunday services, but it happened sooner than I thought because I was drawn to meet local Unitarians. I’m only sorry I’m an hour and a half’s drive from Plymouth! Cornwall is a long county, but I was #Happy yet #Undecided.

    A Warm Welcome!

    My 250 mile move has been eased by receiving a lovely warm welcome from both the Unitarians and from the St Austell & District Soroptimist International Club that I transferred to from my previous Surrey Club. But again, due to Lockdown, all meetings have been on Zoom and I’m really missing the company of the members in person, especially like-minded women to form working friendships with. #Lonely.

    Luckily, I’ve been blessed with the friendship of a delightful 86 year old Soroptimist, Mary, who is a long-time Rambler/hiker and with her Bijon Frise, Monty, has been leading me down many country footpaths around the area. Mary is a retired Community Midwife and knows all the local routes, and there’s usually someone we bump in to that she knows on every walk! #Blessed!

    Childhood Trauma

    I was sent to boarding school when I was 7½ years old and often any sadness I feel goes back to my childhood experience and memories. But the mind-training course I’m studying, A Course in Miracles, explains the true cause of our sadness and any guilt is because subconsciously we think we’ve separated from our Source, which we haven’t. #Sadness.

    Therefore, once this is realised, I will never feel lonely again, because we are One Mind. I’m also blessed with good friends in Surrey and beyond and a loving family – and all I have to do is “pick up the phone” to speak to them. Do you find that at low times we don’t feel like calling a friend? I do, but I find it really helps and we never know how much we might be cheering someone else up too! #Supported.

    My Spiritual Practice

    I’m blessed with having a strong spiritual practice of True Forgiveness which gives me peace of mind, but it doesn’t stop emotions coming up, such as sadness and loneliness, (particularly when things haven’t worked out as I’d planned for my move!), and I’ve felt lonely despite having my family close by – one can’t help one’s emotions until we’ve completely healed our minds. I’ve even felt angry recently, which is quite a new emotion for me! #Blessed. #Sadness. #Loneliness. #Anger!

    I’ve learnt, however, to acknowledge my emotions and try to understand what the causes are, beneath the immediate worldly reasons. Usually, the immediate reason is signalling a deeper meaning in our subconscious or from a past life, and once I’ve worked out what they are, I can then work on forgiving and releasing the emotion – ie healing the causes.  #Understanding. #Release. #Healing.

    So, although my emotions have been more pronounced since moving to Cornwall, (Lockdown in Surrey wasn’t too bad because I knew the area and had good friends locally), I am blessed with being able to let them go and let God in! Thank goodness for my teachers – Margaret, Maitreya, Jesus and his channel, Helen Schucman, and all my wonderful teachers including my children. #Blessed! #Happy! #Grateful!

    We are never truly alone.

    With love, as ever


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  • Our spiritual journey and levels of awareness

    There’s a specific path we meander along when we are proactively journeying along our spiritual path. There are certain Levels of Awareness we pass through.

    Maitreya gave these six levels celestial names, and although other teachers have given them different names, and may have five or seven levels, they all explain a similar metaphysical reason for how we progress – or not!

    The Ten Spiritual Laws which you received when you signed up to my newsletter, were also given by Ascended Master Maitreya who my teacher, Margaret, deep-trance channelled until she passed away in 2016. When I attended my first course with her in 2003, I was taught how we go through these levels, usually progressing three steps forward and taking two steps backwards! It’s not an easy path to choose – but the rewards will be fantastic! And there are no defining lines between these levels, you’ll see yourself in them as you read through, and you may fit into two or even three different levels. They are given as a guide, to show you that there is a progression.

    The first Level of Awareness is Ordinary – man in the street, blissfully unaware, getting on with life until he or she experiences something quite major that jolts them out of Ordinary. It might be a personal tragedy like the loss of a loved one; or major hormonal changes such as puberty, at which time they will start to ask questions and move into:

    The second Level, which is Lunar – this is when our interest in metaphysics is piqued and we start reading books and attending courses. We become aware that there is something else, other than the physical. We become aware of our minds.

    Our questions might be along the lines of: Who is God? What’s the point of life? Why am I here? Why do bad things happen to me/my nice friends? Why did my loved one die too soon? Why did God let that happen to me? Why aren’t my prayers answered?

    You’ll start nosing around the Mind Body Spirit sections in bookshops and will attend courses. You will question your beliefs – one thing leads to another, and we will move into:

    The third Level – Solar. In Solar you may start working part-time as a healer, or join a Spiritual Circle or group and start to work with Spirit, learning to work with different energies. You become very enthusiastic to learn and help others as you become more aware of synchronicities and miracles.

    The fourth Level is Stellar when you will be taken out of your life-long comfort zone. You will start to work for Spirit as a healer, teacher or therapist but this is when your ego starts to put your doubts and fears in front of you so that you can face them, learn from then and overcome them. This is how we grow.

    Your Ego Self will try to impede your growth. It will do anything to hinder you and keep you in your comfort zone. This is why most people do not progress past SOLAR.

    The fifth Level is Cosmic when our egos are determined not to lose control. It comes out fighting as it’s been Top Dog all of your life and doesn’t going to stop now. It doesn’t want you to progress towards your spiritual goals, but your faith, determination and hard work WILL see you through.

    As we raise our vibration we start to give things away that we don’t want. You may stop smoking, drinking, and doing things that you don’t like. You begin to speak your truth quietly and clearly and truly become your own person. You let go of old habits and change your conditioned beliefs.

    You will go through a ‘cardboard phase’ in Cosmic, when things you love don’t mean anything to you anymore.

    And the sixth and final is Universal when we start to experience the Love of Spirit and the Ultimate Being / God and have some moving experiences which are hard to put into words. Your ego will remain with you until you die, but by moving into this phase you will know exactly What You Are.

    When you have finally overcome your fears by working through your lessons, you re-awaken in God / the Ultimate Being. You will have a continual feeling of peace and joy. You will find the happiness you seek.

    I go into more detail about these levels in my Beginners Metaphysics Course, so as I say in my newsletters – “That’s All Folks!”

    With love as ever


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  • Love holds no grievances

    Spiritual tools

    When I find myself in an awkward situation, or having an upsetting conversation with family or a friend, before reacting with my knee-jerk human emotional response of annoyance or frustration, I catch myself and ask, “What would Jesus do now?”

    The Jesus I’m referring to is the Jesus of my childhood, the really nice man who did kind things in The Bible’s New Testament. (I always thought Jesus was an old man when I was little, but he passed away in his 30s!) I was raised as a Christian and attended weekly church services from the age of 7 to 14 years old – I expect some of you can relate to this type of Christian upbringing. I had to go because I was at boarding school, although in the holidays and when I became a “day girl” and permanently lived at home again, I only went to church at Easter and Christmas with my parents, although I went to a Christian youth group called S.N.A.T.E. (Sunday Night At Eight!) principally to meet boys!

    However, I liked Jesus as a child and now I love him as a student of A Course in Miracles, which He dictated to His  channel, Helen Schucman in the 1960s – so I’ve gone full circle and am back with Jesus again! Ain’t life strange?! Well, it was obviously meant to be.

    For me, God and Jesus are synonymous with Love. God is Love, and therefore Jesus is Love too. And Love holds no grievances. When I connect to my innate Love I feel at peace and joyous, and feel nothing to do with grievances, anger or any sense of loss or separation.

    I love Ascended Master Maitreya too, and studying with His amazing channel Margaret McElroy in 2003-2005, I learnt so much and still use His wisdom in my life and work today. In this article, I’d like to share with you some of the thought processes I’ve used on my journey of re-awakening to Love and learning to forgive and release grievances.

    I’ve used this collection of affirmations on many occasions, and I hope you might find them useful too:

    “I let go of my past, I let go of my worries, I am positive about my future.”

    Affirmations need to be said (and repeated many times) in the present tense, as if the thing you want to change in your sub-conscious mind has already happened.

    “I move forward positively.”

    “I love and forgive everyone, including myself, so that I heal my past wounds and become at peaceful in this lifetime.”

    “I release all feelings of regret, resentment and anger.”

    “I am patient and I practice forgiveness at every opportunity” – although practising forgiveness after the event and for childhood events works perfectly well. This is Quantum or Radical Forgiveness, rather than worldly forgiveness in which we blame ourselves or someone else for doing wrong.

    “I let go of all my conditioning hidden in my sub-conscious mind, so my transformation is amazing and I become a pure channel for Spirit.”

    “I connect to Love, to Spirit, as often as I can so it becomes habitual.”



    An example might be:- “I forgive my relatives for upsetting me although I know they’re mirroring what is in my sub-conscious mind, so I forgive myself too.” It’s usually our nearest and dearest who give us healing opportunities!

    I always end my affirmations and my chats with Spirit with a simple: “Thank you Spirit!” And that simple “thanks” always makes me smile – and THAT’S what I call a miracle!

    Have fun with it. This work isn’t meant to be hard, it’s only US that makes it hard. Spirit is always laughing! Maitreya taught me that.

    Feel free to leave a comment  below or send me a message on my Contact Page if you’d like to.

    With love, as ever


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  • Is this world a dream?

    Are we dreaming this world? Are we human beings or are we spiritual beings having a physical experience?

    To wake up to Who We Truly Are usually takes us many years because we’re so accustomed to being human. From the day we were born we’ve been having physical feelings – hunger, crying, cuddles from our parents, being breast-fed by our mothers – all very tangible.

    But as you’re reading this, I think I can safely assume you have been wondering if being human isn’t all there is to life, and that you’ve been asking yourself and other people questions about the meaning of life, what your purpose is, and that you’ve been trying to understand what death and reincarnation really is all about. I certainly have!

    I started asking these questions in my 20s, but was distracted for a decade or so bringing up my children and working full-time, but one of the first books I bought in the mid 1990s was “The Truth In The Light – an investigation of over 300 Near-Death Experiences”, by Peter and Elizabeth Fenwick. Peter was President of the British branch of the International Association for Near-Death Studies which was fascinating.

    I’ve always been open-minded, which has stood me in good stead, and I’ve never simply accepted what teachers or authors have told me or written without fully understanding and knowing for myself what was true for me – ie what my Truth is.

    I’m sure you can share your journey of discover about how you first started off looking for your Truth – when did you first start asking questions, and where has your path taken you? Do leave a comment below if you would like to share your story.

    “The Truth In The Light” refers to “The Tibetan Book of the Living and Dying”, by Sogyal Rinpoche, who likens the Buddhist view of dying to a near-death experience, which is another book well worth reading.

    Recently I watched a 2018 interview with David Icke on TalkRadio, a London radio station which has a YouTube channel, and when asked what started him off on his spiritual quest, David said it was when he came across a book called “Mind to Mind” by Betty Shine in the late 1980s. I came across it in the 1990s and it was a fascinating and  brilliant introduction to using our minds. Betty was ahead of her time – she also wrote “Mind Magic” and “Mind Waves”, and David was lucky enough to visit Betty Shine for a reading and healing. Since then, David said he feels “a presence” that I know to be Spirit, although he doesn’t name it – he just says he feels a consciousness and that he follows his intuition.

    So, is this a dream? Yes I believe so. I know I’m spirit and although I think I have “my” mind, we actually share One Mind and I’m here now in human form on the Earth plane to have the opportunity to heal my mind by learning the lessons from both my childhood and those buried in my subconscious brought in from former lifetimes. The lessons which emerged for me, triggered in the mid 2000s by a major separation from my children, were separation and abandonment issues. I’ve now mainly healed them, but am still tested to a lesser degree when people leave or a relationship breaks down. My metaphysics teacher, Margaret McElroy taught me that we would continue to be tested until we had fully healed, or learned that lesson.

    But I know now that I am never separate from God, from our Source, from Love, and our One Mind. Plus I’ve learned how to hear and communicate with Spirit, so I never feel alone. That’s not to say I don’t miss the company of other people during Lockdown! And that’s because I’m having a human experience, as Jacquie in this incarnation, and touch and laughing with friends is important to me – I’m an extrovert as I have Leo ascending!

    So, yes I’m dreaming my human experience but I’m making the most of it and my time on Earth to heal. I do that by remembering Who I Really Am and by practising forgiveness. Knowing that the world is an illusion doesn’t mean we can’t appreciate it, and seeing it through the eyes of Love makes it a peaceful and joyous place to be – for now!

    With love, as ever


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  • YOU are your OWN Healer

    Jacquie Verbeek

    Christmas is nearly upon us – it comes round every year! And although it is a happy occasion for many, it can also bring up lots of deep and unaddressed emotions and can be a lonely time of the year when normal routine ceases and many find themselves at home alone, and will do this year because of the world-wide pandemic.

    People who are experiencing anxiety, who are distressed or depressed need to take control of their minds, and I would like to share some techniques to do so in this article, which will lead to your own healing.

    Maitreya called the place where bad thoughts come from our chattering mind, where the lower self abides; Buddhists call it the monkey mind; and others refer to it as the Ego mind or Ego belief system – whatever you call it, whatever it’s called is irrelevant – it’s the negative part of our thought system that goes on and on and on making us doubtful, distressed, anxious, endlessly worried and depressed.

    • Stop caring about “what other people think of you”. It doesn’t matter two hoots (as my mother used to say!) what anybody else thinks of you and your behaviour. A friend of mine says she has to get out of bed before 9am to open her curtains because she’s worried about her neighbours thinking less of her.
    • But they’re probably thinking, “lucky woman to be able to have a lie in today!” We never know what someone else is thinking, so please don’t waste YOUR time worrying about it and usually making up elaborate stories about what they might be thinking! What a “waste of your energy”, as Margaret* used to say!
    • Focus on what makes you happy and do these things on a regular basis… do you like to dance? Yes? So dance in your kitchen (kitchen floors are often the best for Twisting!) If you enjoy reading, writing, drawing, walking by the sea or in Nature – do it! What are you waiting for? Enjoy yourself!
    • Stop waiting for your partner to treat you properly – or worse make you happy. Ask them for what you want. Don’t expect them to be able to read your mind just because you live together. Although it is up to YOU to find your own inner happiness, not your loved ones.
    • Ask yourself if your relationship is based on its “potential” or “the reality”? If you’re forever waiting for your partner to treat you properly – they probably never will if they’re not now, and not unless YOU ask them to do certain things for you.
    • There’s no reason not to care for someone, of course, but try and stop making excuses for why your partner is not loving you properly. If you’re not happy and know in your heart that things won’t change, leave.
    • To calm your chattering mind, take up a spiritual practice or discipline so you have a daily reminder to focus on your spiritual side.
    • Set up a Morning Practice of Meditation, Prayer, Yoga, Tai Chi, chanting and most importantly keeping a Journal.
    • Study a spiritual book like A Course in Miracles – it has a Workbook of 365 lessons which you could start on 1st January 2021. I do it every year and it gets better and better each year as my perception changes.
    • Do the exercises in Louise Hay’s book, You Can Heal Your Life, with a view to keeping your mind (thoughts) and body healthy.
    • Plan to do a Spiritual Development course or workshop in 2021 – please see my website for details of mine courses, based on Maitreya’s teachings.
    • Buy yourself a Gratitude Journal or Self Care Playbook from The Happi Empire – created by Frances, a student of Margaret’s and Maitreya.

    You are your own healer. It’s up to each one of us to take control and be responsible for our own minds, our own thoughts.

    If you find yourself in an anxious state, distressed or depressed, grieving, etc, please try not to let yourself spiral down a dark hole. I did that and it became a nightmare and a very difficult place to climb out of. Instead, talk to Spirit, ask your Spirit Guide, Guardian Angel or Holy Spirit to give you guidance. Have an Astrology reading – I can recommend a brilliant intuitive Astrologer.

    Always stay in touch with someone who cares, please don’t isolate yourself, which I also did. Talking to a someone is a good way to start talking about your crazy thoughts – and please know that it is quite normal to have crazy thoughts, and also to have suicidal ideations. You are NOT alone.

    And most importantly, as Ascended Master Maitreya taught me,”DON’T TAKE THINGS PERSONALLY” – and I will add DON’T TAKE YOUR OWN THOUGHTS PERSONALLY! Our thoughts can lie to us when they come from our lower self, our ego mind.

    If you have any comments or thoughts, please do get in touch.

    With love, as ever


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  • What is Forgiveness? From A Course in Miracles.

    From Part II of The Workbook of A Course in Miracles published by Foundation for Inner Peace

    What is Forgiveness? Page 401

    Para 1 –

    1. Forgiveness recognizes what you thought your brother did to you has not occurred.
    2. It does not pardon sins and make them real
    3. It sees there was no sin.
    4. And in that view are all your sins forgiven.
    5. What is sin, except a false idea about God’s Son? (ie each one of us)
    6. Forgiveness merely sees its falsity, and therefore lets it go.
    7. What then is free to take its place is now the Will of God.

    Para 2 –

    1. An unforgiving thought is one which makes a judgment that I will not raise to doubt, although it is not true.
    2. The mind is closed, and will not be released.
    3. The thought protects projection, tightening its chains, so that distortions are more veiled, and more obscure; less easily accessible to doubt, and further kept from reason.
    4. What can come between a fixed projection and the aim that it has chosen as its wanted goal?

    Para 3 –

    1. An unforgiving thought does many things.
    2. In frantic action it pursues its goal, twisting and overturning what it sees as interfering with its chosen path.
    3. Distortion is its purpose, and the means by which it would accomplish it as well.
    4. It sets about its furious attempts to smash reality, without concern for anything that would appear to pose a contradiction to its point of view.

    Para 4 –

    1. Forgiveness, on the other hand, is still, and quietly does nothing.
    2. It offends no aspect of reality, nor seeks to twist it to appearance it likes.
    3. It merely looks, and waits, and judges not.
    4. He who would not forgive must judge, for he must justify his failure to forgive.
    5. But he who would forgive himself must learn to welcome truth exactly as it is.

    Para 5 –

    1. Do nothing, then, and let forgiveness show you what to do, through Him Who is your Guide, your Saviour and Protector, strong in hope, and certain of your ultimate success.
    2. He has forgiven you already, for such is His function, given Him by God.
    3. Now must you share His function, and forgive whom He has saved, whose sinlessness He sees, and whom He honours as the Son of God. (ie All of us!)

    I practice Forgiveness throughout my day and it has changed my life. It healed my mind when I was living in fear (known as depression and anxiety in the world). Forgiveness healed my childhood trauma of abandonment and rejection, and therefore the fear of being alone.

    If you want to know how to practice Forgiveness or have any questions about this essay from A Course in Miracles and would like further explanation, eg the very first point, please do get in touch.

    With love, as ever


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  • How we self-sabotage our spiritual practices

    How often have you been getting along nicely with your spiritual reading and practice when you get interrupted? It might be by something as simple as a bad cold and you feel rough for a few days, so you take time out to have a “duvet day” because you feel poorly and don’t want to do anything except watch daytime TV and eat chocolate to console yourself!

    Or it might be something more time-consuming such as a trip away or having a friend to stay so your routine gets disrupted and you almost forget that you had this good thing going prior to their visit!

    Or worse, you might get made redundant, or have a relationship breakdown, or have a challenging situation with a family member. You get completely thrown off track and your spiritual progress gets put back or worse – ignored!

    It might be that one of your major life lessons comes up to the surface for healing and that can also stop us in our tracks – it’s not always the ego, it can be a previous trauma coming up to be healed which may seem horrific at the time, but if you can forgive and release these emotional traumas you will be able to breakthrough and heal them – but they can, of course, throw us off track from our good spiritual practices.

    Our egos love to trip us up and will find many ways to do so – this is how we self-sabotage! It can be very much “three steps forward and two steps back”.

    Self-sabotaging is what we also tend to do on a low-key daily basis – we allow ourselves to be distracted from focusing on our thoughts because we want to go out shopping, meet a friend or watch TV. Socialising and relaxation are essential of course, but if we allow ourselves to become so busy being “human doings” instead of human beings, it will be your ego’s way of distracting you from your beneficial spiritual practice. Our egos will also distract us from leading a healthy lifestyle or a disciplined exercise routine. The ego will do anything and everything it can to keep us from progressing – it continually self-sabotages us, so be on your guard!

    The solution

    Start listening to your thoughts. Learn to not only listen but to distinguish your ego thoughts from your intuitive thoughts – these comes direct from Spirit and will always take you on the right and happiest path. Whereas our distracting, negative and anxious thoughts are ego-driven – they’re lies! Lies and damn lies! Thoughts that make you feel angry, resentful and upset in any way – including anxious thoughts – are of the ego. On the other hand, our intuitive thoughts are peaceful, happy and light-hearted. You can actually feel the difference in your body.

    Have a go. It’s fun! And don’t beat yourself up if you think, “I can’t do it”, because THAT’S a lying ego thought. If you want to receive intuitive guidance, you will succeed. It’s how I was taught by Maitreya, so if I can do it so can you!

    Say “No” to self-sabotage today!

    With love, as ever


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  • My experience of Empty Nest Syndrome, Loss and Grief

    I was a single mother of two children from when they were 7 & 8 years old. We lived happily together and I kept a roof over their heads! My son left home at 24 years old, although he’d been travelling prior to that (India, Nepal and Australia), and my daughter left aged 21 but had rarely been away on her own.

    Neither of them went to university, so I’d been used to having a houseful, including the occasional boyfriend added into the mix! After they left school they both got jobs – so we were a tight unit and got on very well – mainly because we were all interested in spiritual development, as well as being generally easy going gentle folk! My daughter tells me now that I used to argue a lot with my son, but I seem to have erased any arguments from my memory!

    When the kids left home!

    When they eventually left home, I unexpectedly suffered terrible Empty Nest Syndrome! Despite knowing it was the right time for them to fly the nest and lead independent lives, and despite having heard about other mothers’ experiences, as with all emotional experiences, until we go through them ourselves they’re very hard to understand. And our hearts do not necessarily fall in line with what our heads tells us!

    To make matters worse for me, because Frances had been born in Australia, when she was 20 she went travelling Down Under, got her Australian passport and moved to Sydney permanently – 12,000 miles across the world! She didn’t just move up the road or to the next town, but to Australia, which for me was the beginning of a nightmare of loss and grief that I was completely unprepared for.

    To compound that loss, four months later my son resigned from his job in, got himself an Australian Working Visa and joined his sister in the Australian sunshine! Now, I was brought up overseas and have travelled extensively, but I’d never been on the other end of the see-saw before. I had, however, been sent to boarding school at the age of seven, the effects of which were abandonment, and the kids both now “abandoning” me, albeit in a very different way, now started to surface which I had to deal with at the same time. Grief, loss and abandonment.

    The reason I’m detailing this is to explain how, after years of having my kids in my home, I was feeling absolutely bereft! So, if you’re experiencing loss and grief, I can empathise and hopefully give you some useful ideas as to hoe to cope. The enormity of the closest two people in the world moving 12,000 miles’ away really hit me hard, and this was in the early 2000s before Facebook! Skype was in its infancy and there weren’t smart phones so FaceTime hadn’t been dreamt up back then! All making communications very hard indeed – Frances had to go to a public telephone box to call home and the time difference didn’t help either! Some say the world’s a smaller place because of technology and air travel, but in practical terms, the loss of a loved one to another country where you can’t hug them can’t be replaced.

    Loss and Grief

    Empty nesting is quite simply the term for loss and grief when the chicks fly the nest. In reality I felt desperately lonely, missed them terribly – I found it hard initially to even go into my daughter’s bedroom. Another friend told me that when her eldest daughter left to go to university, she would go into her bedroom and cry her eyes out. If you’re suffering now – you are definitely not alone.

    Twenty years is a long time for a mother to bond with her children, and whether you’re married or not, it can be a great loss when they leave home. Obviously everyone’s experiences of Empty Nesting are different – but many of us suffer at this time – Dads as well as Mums!

    Luckily, with the advent of the Internet we can now share our experiences, and this is what I’m doing in this blog. Knowledge and planning can help us to prepare for these experiences.

    I was single when they left home and as I didn’t live near my family, I think I not only suppressed my emotions but I didn’t really know what I was experiencing – and eventually I had a nervous breakdown. But you don’t have to!

    So, for any parent preparing for their children to leave home, I offer the following:

    1. Busy and active! Keep yourself as fully occupied as possible. Be this with your work, your hobbies and interests or your social life – wider family and friends. Later in life I’ve realised how important “community” is to me – be it a drama group, a gardening club, an exercise class or meditation group – meeting regularly with people with similar interests and values as me, is very beneficial.
    2. Talk! Speak to a Counsellor to help you with any unusual emotions. It’s much better to express your emotions and talk it all through with someone who’s objective. Family and friends can be supportive but they tend to have biased points of view, so a trained Counsellor or Psychotherapist can be of great help. Even if you “don’t think I’m that bad”, it’s worth it.
    3. Communication. Prior to your children leaving, talk to them about this and make plans to keep in touch with them on a regular basis. Explain to them that although they’ll be starting a new life with lots of do, remind them that you love them and want them to have a great time, but that a regular phone call, email or text message will make all the difference to you.
    4. Proper Prior Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance! Therefore, also make a Family Plan when you will next see them and whether this will become a regular meeting. Having something to look forward to, to do together is really important – so put something in your diary!
    5. Meditate. Learn how to still your mind and find an inner peace – prior to them leaving home! Meditation might seem daunting at first, but it is easy to learn and really calms our minds, which is a lovely way to learn to be happy on your own, whatever happens in life and whether you’re married or not.

    That list wasn’t in any order of priority, but I’d put Learn and Practise Meditation as the most important thing to do. At one point or another in our lives we will all suffer loss; whether it’s caused by a relationship breakdown, divorce, redundancy, kids leaving home or the death of a pet, a close friend or member of your family – it’s a guaranteed part of life. So, by practising meditation it can bring us to a place where our minds are calm and vital questions will be answered for us. Ultimately, through meditation, we can create an understanding about the reality of us leaving this Earth plane, which can help us deal with the fear of death and other losses.

    If you have any questions or comments, please leave them below.

    With love, as ever


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  • Do you feel overwhelmed? Are you depressed?

    I expect, wherever you’re reading this in the world, you’ve experienced self-isolation and social distancing during Lockdown. Vocabulary that wasn’t in use prior to the 2020 corona virus pandemic!

    Whatever your state of mind prior to the last few months, if you’re anything like me, I expect you’ve had some fearful thoughts, unusual emotions and changes in your mood. Have you ever considered where these thoughts come from? Over the years I’ve developed a spiritual thought-based practice that helps me to feel peaceful in upsetting moments of overwhelm, and this practice is available for us all. It’s called Forgiveness.

    Since I completed Master of Metaphysics courses in 2005, and even after I’d started teaching metaphysics myself, I had a nervous or psychological breakdown. It was a shock to my system because I “knew the theory”, but I still had my deep healing to do, which I eventually did and my breakdown led to a healing breakthrough and joyous re-awakening.

    I’d learnt about the ego’s thought system and how devious and self-sabotaging our egos can be; but it wasn’t until I went through my own Dark Night of the Soul – a place of deep loss, grief and sadness – that I was brought to my knees and either had to address my life lessons or stay in the dark forever. I discovered my main healing was around childhood abandonment – it was at this point that I really understood about our egos, so I chose the Light and learnt how to manage my ego thoughts.

    The Forgiveness practice

    I knew I had to forgive my ego’s fearful, negative thoughts that created my unhappiness, and I had to learn to communicate with Spirit because I couldn’t heal without connecting to the Light. So that became my No. 1 aim in life and I worked hard to achieve it. After a lot of personal development work I healed sufficiently to have my breakthrough in February 2018. Joy of joys!

    Having experienced these “mental health” challenges, which they are commonly referred to as, I now understand what they’re like and I empathise with people going through their darkest times. I know what it’s like to feel suicidal and to live with anxiety and fear every day, so I’m well-placed to help other people heal and find inner peace for themselves.

    I do this by teaching them about the ego belief system and their Higher Selves, and I support and guide them as to how to heal themselves with the techniques I used. This is my purpose for being on the Earth plane in this lifetime – I chose to return in this incarnation to help others do their healing work needed for their life lessons. But I had to go through it myself first! Often the biggest breakthrough comes after the hardest breakdown.

    I teach metaphysics to people wanting to discover their Truth and to find inner peace – you don’t have to suffer from depression, but this is a trigger for many people at the moment. The good news is that more and more souls are re-awakening at the moment, which is fantastic!

    Healing Techniques

    My breakdown spanned over a decade in which time I had counselling as well as going down the conventional medical route for a while. I employed healing tools such as EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), relaxation, meditation, and a brilliant thought practice called Forgiveness, as taught in A Course in Miracles.

    Over the years I have learnt to communicate with Spirit, which has become a wonderful 24/7 connection. I’ve formed a daily habit of forgiving and releasing every upset I have, and I believe this was what finally gave me the peace I sought. It was pretty miraculous when my depression suddenly ended. Rather than a slow-burn lifting, the anxiety just went one day and a new-found joy came flooding back into my mind and life!

    Now, although my deepest fears have gone – and I’ve forgiven one hell of a lot – I continually use this practice a few times a day for anything that comes up which upsets me – from stubbing my toe on the bed to seeing a magpie swooping down to catch a chick in my garden – yes this just happened! But I can release any upset now so it doesn’t get stuck in my mind. I study A Course in Miracles daily to re-mind myself of Who I really am, not a human experiencing this pandemic but part of Spirit dreaming this illusion and knowing that I simply have to re-awaken to the fact that I never left God – none of us have.

    We are pure love; we are divine beings! Spirit is here for us all the time and we can all learn to communicate with them, forming a relationship with Spirit as a friend. This is key to creating a happy life for ourselves here on Earth because they help us to work towards our enlightenment.

    Relationship with Spirit

    I trained with ascended master Maitreya who told us he didn’t ask to be called Master and that we gave him that title. He said we don’t need to put him or any spiritual teachers on a pedestal. So, be normal when you talk to Spirit! We are all in this together, sharing our wisdom with anyone who wants to learn the spiritual development techniques that we’ve discovered work successfully. Gratitude for our teachers is all that’s needed. These spiritual relationships are not about being “religious” in the traditional sense, but about being authentic. Spirit knows what we’re thinking anyway and really is our friend!

    Please leave a comment or get in touch on the Contact Form if you’re interested in learning more, whether it be to help you out of a difficult time now, or whether you’re living with anxiety and experiencing a turbulent mind in any way. It doesn’t have to last forever, although I know it can sometimes feel like you’ll never get through it! Be kind to yourself and stay strong.

    Have an inspiring June!

    With love, as ever


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  • What is Fear?

    Fear – what is it really?

    Hello there, isn’t this the strangest time of our lives? The whole world is under Lockdown due to the Corona Virus, and from what I gather, most people are feeling anxious and fearful. But also, the wonderful thing is that the whole world is working together to support each other, to keep each other safe and survive this pandemic.

    Can you feel the Fear more than usual at the moment? As soon as I hear the News come on the radio & TV, I can feel my mood instantly drop and feel a slight anxiousness descend upon me. I’ve therefore chosen not to listen to it. I rarely buy newspapers or read them online anyway, but when I’m listening to a music station they read News on the hour and every half-hour, so sometimes I can’t miss the latest death tally in England, Wales, etc.

    Spirit teaches there’s only either Love or Fear. If you’re not feeling God’s Love or the Peace of Spirit in your heart and mind at any time, everything else is linked to the ego self and is, therefore, fear-based.

    In A Course in Miracles (ACIM), a study book channelled by Jesus, he teaches exactly the same thing. There can only be Love or Fear, and our purpose is to be in a place of peacefulness and Love at all times, and to heal our unconscious minds so that we rid ourselves of the fear in them. Every time we feel ourselves being drawn into the mass consciousness of fear, we need to actively pull ourselves back by re-minding ourselves what the Truth is and to actively focus on Love, Peace and God.

    This Earth, our world, is an illusion of our ego’s making and the ego loves drawing us back into its dramas – at the moment it’s all about the Corona Virus. The ego doesn’t want us to become enlightened, loving beings.

    Fear is ONLY linked to our ego. It is in NO way connected to Spirit or our Higher Selves. Love and Fear are the only two true opposites, and only one is real – ie Love! What we usually think of as opposites, such as good and bad, black and white, light and dark are also of the ego mind. There can be NO opposites in God.

    Why is that? Jesus teaches in ACIM that Source is pure Love. God doesn’t see our imperfections and doesn’t acknowledge our trials and tribulations. All of our issues are only connected to our ego and therefore fear, which God doesn’t get involved with.

    God sent representatives such as Buddha, Jesus and ascended master Maitreya, to show us the way out of fear and lead us back to the Light. We have a choice – so let’s choose wisely. What are you choosing in this moment? Which would you rather align with? Love or Fear? Well, that’s a “no brainer”, surely?!

    We were raised in the ego’s belief system, therefore, it takes focussed hard work and persistent awareness to move towards the Light and to make the changes to our mental habits that we need to become and stay enlightened.

    After my kids, Russell and Frances, and I came back from Margaret McElroy’s Metaphysics courses (between 2003 – 2005), we used to stick bright yellow Post-It Notes all over our kitchen and bedroom walls, and on the doors leading from one room to another! We covered our house in re-minders of what we’d learnt so that we would be re-minded wherever we looked. No, it wasn’t pretty, but it worked! The notes said things like:

    1. Let go and let God – my favourite!  2. Meditate to connect to Spirit.  3. Ask Spirit for guidance.

    4. Speak your truth, quietly and clearly.  4. Face the fear.  5. You can do it!

    Frances created her Happi Cards, which you can buy from The Happi Empire’s website at, based on these teachings, which have developed since she also started studying A Course in Miracles. Check them out! They’re a very popular tool for spiritual development and used by Life Coaches around the world.

    It’s advisable to have a healing session at least once a month for our ongoing well-being. In times of self-isolation we can all practise Reiki on ourselves – the 21 day self-practice would not go amiss during this Lockdown. If you want to be attuned to Reiki, I can recommend teachers.

    Please remember that feeling fearful IS a choice. I’ve chosen to not allow it into my heart and mind so I don’t listen to the TV or radio News 24/7, it’s simply not necessary. Many Lightworkers don’t read the News anymore. If I do hear it and feel upset in any small way, I forgive and release it straightaway, which always brings me back to peace.

    So, how are you doing? How are you spending your days? I’m taking this time to catch up on some reading and have more time to do my spiritual practice. I’ve been creating some art – just for me – not for public viewing! And I’m keeping fit by jogging and walking, which is possible where I live. I’m communicating as much as possible with friends and family, and with strangers on social media! I’ll talk to anyone to try and calm their anxiety (fear) as much as I can – as I’m sure are you.

    It’s been lovely connecting with you today through this blog, and if you’d like to  leave me a comment, even if it’s just a “Hello” that would be lovely because it’s more important than usual to connect during this pandemic, and if website Contact forms are the way to do it, let’s get connecting!

    Stay safe.

    Love as ever,


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